Album: I’m Not the Road (2012)
Lyrics ©2012 by Jon Sobel (Jonathan Oren Music, BMI)
TEENAGE POPSTAR GIRL
Gather around people, come a little closer
I’ll tell you ’bout a girl, you can bend her, you can pose her
Everybody loves her, nobody knows her
‘Cause she ain’t got a wrinkle or a mark or a sag
A perpetual smile and a permanent jet lag
Teenage popstar girl
So many of them, everybody’s got one
Teenage popstar girl
Can’t I have one too?
Gather around people, hear what I’m saying
First class ticket, she’s still paying
Ran around the world, then she sat around praying
And nobody knows what happened down there
On her pretty pretty knees with her platinum hair
Teenage popstar girl…
Gather around people, listen to my story
I’ll tell you ’bout the girl with the gold and the glory
She set out for a new territory
Where all she’s gonna need is a dog and a gun
They’re such pretty pretty girls but she’s never gonna be one
Teenage popstar girls…
—
COUNTRY OF ONE
I ain’t been drinkin’ and I ain’t been dopin’
I’m just waitin’ for the diner to open
I ain’t hungry but the bear in the wood is
I ain’t rich but the whole neighborhood is
I don’t wanna be a country of one
I don’t wanna live my life on the run
Gonna fly on home, straight into the web that you spun
‘Cause I don’t wanna be a country of one
I ain’t got anything much I could give her
Cause I been livin’ in a van by the river
I can’t swim but the river keeps calling
Close my eyes but the water keeps falling
I don’t wanna be a country of one…
I ain’t been drinkin’ and I ain’t been dopin’
I’m just waitin’ for your brown eyes to open
—
PROSPECT PARK
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my honey
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my babe
Let’s go down to Prospect Park
Sit on the grass and watch it get dark
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my honey
Ain’t no sheep on the village green my honey
Ain’t no sheep on the village green no more
Ain’t no sheep on the village green
Only me and my jellybean
Ain’t no sheep on the village green my honey
I’m gonna buy you an ice cream cone my honey
I’m gonna buy you an ice cream cone so sweet
I’m gonna buy you an ice cream cone if you
Let me play your saxophone
I’m gonna buy you an ice cream cone so sweet
Let’s go up to Greenwood Lake my honey
Let’s go up to Greenwood Lake so blue
Let’s go up to Greenwood Lake
Talk about that wedding cake
Let’s go up to Greenwood Lake my honey
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my honey
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my babe
Let’s go down to Prospect Park
Sit on the grass and watch it get dark
Let’s go down to Prospect Park my honey
—
OVER YOU (FOR NOW)
Go ahead, slam the door
I don’t care anymore
I am so over you – for now
Well I thought I’d get you off my mind when I lost it
And I tried and I tried just to leave my heart where you tossed it
But like the little girl said when she fell down the well
There ain’t much earth between heaven and hell
And the water’s too narrow and love is too wide
And you never really crossed it
So go ahead, slam the door
I don’t care anymore
I am so over you – for now
I’m gonna stick some balls of cotton in
Both my ears, shut down the
Computer maybe shut my mouth for a while
Gonna go live up on top of a pillar
Go and interview a killer
Or put a jealous God on trial
And I cried to the left and I
Laughed to right and I
Stared straight up into the sun
And I can’t see no more but I don’t
Wanna see no more ’cause what I
Wanna see is over and done
Go ahead, slam the door
I don’t care anymore
I am so over you
Go ahead, make that call
I don’t care, no I don’t care at all
I am so over you – for now
—
CARRY-ON CAROL ANN
Well I love my baby, I’m enchante
She’s so sweet like a creme brulee
We’re gonna take a change
We’re goin’ to Paris, France
We’re gonna fly by night
We’re gonna travel light
She’s my Carry-On Carol Ann
And I’m her first class man
And if we never land that’s OK too
Well my baby loves me, I know she does
She’s the best girl that ever was
We’re gonna jet to Nice
And then it’s on to Greece
We’ll take a submarine
My little libertine
She’s my Carry-On Carol Ann…
We don’t like waiting at the carousel
I smell fish fryin’
And I hear steel drummin’
When I mobilize with my mademoiselle
She’s my Carry-On Carol Ann…
—
WALKER IN THE WOODS
Through the cold New Hampshire mountains
Runs a swiftly flowing stream
You ain’t supposed o drink the water
But it tastes just like a dream
It’s my life’s blood when I’m thirsty
It’s an old friend when I’m blue
And old friends are important
When you ain’t makin’ any new
Not a skier in the winter
Not a hunter in the fall
Not a hiker from the city
In the summertime at all
And my friend the stream in summer
Never suffers from the splash
Of any local kids or hippies
Singing songs by Graham Nash
I’ve seen the blazes on the trail
And the old cairns never fail
I don’t know who made ’em
But it doesn’t matter now
I have always got the goods
‘Cause I’m a walker in the woods
And there ain’t no law against it
Far as I know anyhow
In the highlands of New Jersey
Used to be a rifle range
Now the shotguns have gone silent
I don’t mind it, but it’s strange
Where the black bears used to forage
Scaring people half to death
You can hear the tall trees swaying
In the Earth’s untainted breath
I’ve seen the blazes on the trail…
By the last ravine in Brooklyn
Where the Marylanders fell
Hard by Condom Wrapper Grove
Right by the kiddies’ carousel
There ain’t no one but a crayfish
Wandered up after the rain
And a tiny pink-eyed squirrel
Who was born without a brain
I’ve seen the blazes on the trail…
—
I’M NOT THE ROAD
I hear a chime, it might be freedom
But I believe it’s just another hour
And time is nothing but a killer
Without love to slow it down
Ah but love, it runs you ragged
And it will not always find a way
It’s not a rose that’s every year returning
It’s a human signpost to someone’s wedding day
I’m not the road, I’m not the driver
I’m not the pilot if your plane is going down
I’m not the train or the conductor
Maybe a cabin on a cruise is what I am
A cruise to Mexico
‘Cause that’s where the lovers go
Heard of a man so alive with wisdom
Priests and rabbis strained to hear his words
I chased that man but I must have missed him
And I might as well be running after birds
Heard of a woman, make you a potion
Make you an animal no lover can resist
But don’t waste your time, don’t waste your money
We put that woman out of business when we kissed
I’m not the road, I’m not the driver…
And love, it makes you reckless
It’s a little crazy, it’s a middle passage, it’s big as Texas
It’s not contagious, but somehow it infects us
And the fever rages till it wrecks us
I’m not the road, I’m not the driver
I’m not the pilot if your plane is going down
I’m not the train or the conductor
Maybe a cabin on a cruise is what I am
A cruise to Mexico
‘Cause that’s where the lovers go
Way on down to Mexico
Way on down
—
LOVE THAT WOMAN BLUES
I think I love that woman
But it don’t matter if I do
I think I love that woman
But it don’t matter if I do
‘Cause she’s Tavern on the Green
And I’m just poor and sad and blue (oh yes I am)
I think I need that woman
I think I need her pretty bad
I think I need that woman
I think I need her pretty bad
But I can’t give her what she needs
‘Cause I’m just poor and blue and sad
Thought I was pickin’ out a rockin’ melody
But I was only strummin’
Thought I had the whole thing comin’ to me
But I only had it comin’ – yeah yeah yeah
I’m gonna try and love that woman
Right through the darkness at the core
I’m gonna try and love that woman
Although the blues is at my door
But it’s so hard to love a woman
When you’re just blue and sad and poor
—
CRYING SHAME
It’s a cryin’, a cryin’ shame
I keep tryin’ but it always turns out the same
When I kiss you it feels so beautiful
How I miss you in indisputable
It’s a cryin’ shame
It’s a cryin’ shame, I’m cryin’
It’s a cryin’ shame
And I hope to die if I’m lyin’
It’s a cryin’ shame
When I call you I get the number wrong
Try to ignore you but I can’t do it for long
Ah but when I find you, I’m gonna stick around
Gonna get behind you and never let you down
It’s a cryin’ shame
It’s a cryin’ shame, I’m cryin’…
—
BOWLING
I don’t drive a fancy car
We don’t have to go that far
We ain’t proud and we ain’t rich
She has only one bad itch
She wants to go bowling
That’s her lovers’ lane
When that black ball’s rolling
She don’t feel no pain
No wailin’ kids, no fancy gear
Nothing to lose means nothing to fear
The dogs are fed and the coffee’s hot
She does not want what she has not got
She wants to go bowling…
When I get a sweeter job
Gonna buy me a Jag or maybe a Saab
We’re gonna cruise in cream, we’re gonna smoke in style
But every day, after a while
She wants to go bowling…
—
INSATIABLE SALLY
I’m a tired old traveling man
Gathering dust like an old soup can
You can keep all the money and the freshwater pearls
Just leave me Scooby and the Powerpuff Girls
All I need is a color TV
Nachos, a cat and a nice cup of tea
Fate says, “No, it just can’t be
Because you married insatiable Sally.”
Now, she may be completely insane
But my girl ain’t no ball and chain
My girl shines like a golden cross
My girl soars like an albatross
All I need is a color TV…
Past my prime and over the hill
Rock my chair and take my pill
Somebody wake me when she’s done
God, she’s only forty-one!
All I need is a color TV…
—
A WOMAN LIKE YOU
Well I studied the moon and the magical arts
And I fashioned the finest mechanical parts
I sang and I sculpted, I wrote and I drew
But I never imagined a woman like you
I could never imagine a woman like you
Well I polished my shield and I sharpened my spear
I came and I saw and I conquered my fear
My images soared and my confidence grew
But I never imagined a woman like you
I could never imagine a woman like you
I would love to explain
But it’s hard to find words
For the way that I feel
So I’ll settle for rain
And the songs of the birds
And a creak of the wheel
In the devil’s casino you’re my lady luck
And if life is a highway, I guess you’re my truck
All the king’s horses and all the queen’s crew
Could never imagine a princess like you
They could never imagine a woman like you
I would love to explain…
I could memorize Homer and Virgil and Tasso
I could gaze on O’Keefe and Monet and Picasso
But if the mountaineers, balladeers, engineers too
Could never come up with a woman like you
How could I have imagined a woman like you?